50+ Funny Quotes international Women's day 2025

Here are 50+ funny quotes to celebrate International Women’s Day with humor and wit!

Empowering & Witty Quotes

1. "Who runs the world? Girls. But first, we need coffee."
2. "Behind every successful woman is herself."
3. "Strong women intimidate boys and excite men."
4. "She believed she could, but then she had kids, so she didn’t."
5. "I’m not bossy. I’m aggressively helpful."

Work & Career Humor

6. "A woman’s work is never done… especially when she’s the boss."
7. "Some women want a seat at the table; I want to own the whole damn building."
8. "Glass ceilings are meant to be broken—preferably with stilettos."
9. "Equal pay? Nah, I’d rather have a 4-day work week and unlimited chocolate."
10. "Behind every successful woman is a significant amount of coffee."

Men vs. Women Jokes

11. "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and we’re all lost in space."
12. "A man’s biggest fear? A woman with Wi-Fi and screenshots."
13. "Marriage is when a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gets her master’s."
14. "Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract!"
15. "A woman’s ‘I’ll be ready in five minutes’ and a man’s ‘I’ll fix it tomorrow’ are both lies."

Motherhood & Family Fun

16. "Motherhood: Powered by coffee, sustained by wine."
17. "Raising kids is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park."
18. "Moms have superpowers. We can hear a snack wrapper open from a mile away."
19. "Parenting is 90% making sure your kids don’t embarrass you in public."
20. "I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right—Mom edition."

Sassy & Independent Women

21. "A woman’s intuition is her secret weapon."
22. "Cinderella is proof that a pair of shoes can change your life."
23. "When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in your enemy’s tea."
24. "I’m a strong, independent woman—except when I need help opening a jar."
25. "Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a plant. So basically, it’s salad."

Shopping & Beauty Humor

26. "Retail therapy is cheaper than actual therapy."
27. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fiercest of them all? Me, obviously."
28. "Shopping is cardio, right?"
29. "Give a woman the right lipstick, and she can conquer the world."
30. "High heels: A woman’s weapon of choice."

Aging & Wisdom

31. "The older I get, the more I realize I was right about everything."
32. "Aging gracefully is just another way of saying ‘I don’t have time for nonsense.’"
33. "At this age, I don’t need a filter. My face does that naturally."
34. "Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."
35. "I have stopped counting my age—numbers are for accountants."

Random & Hilarious Observations

36. "Some days I amaze myself. Other days, I put my phone in the fridge."
37. "I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge."
38. "If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman."
39. "A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands."
40. "My hobbies include eating and complaining that I’m full."

Feminism with a Twist

41. "Feminism means we all have equal rights… to take naps."
42. "I’m a feminist, but I still expect someone else to take out the trash."
43. "If women ruled the world, there’d be no wars—just intense negotiations over coffee."
44. "I’m not saying women are better, but have you ever seen a woman start a bar fight over a sports game?"
45. "Women hold up half the sky… and the whole household."

Classic Funny Women Quotes

46. "I’m not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I’m also not blonde." —Dolly Parton
47. "I love being married. It’s great to have found that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." —Rita Rudner
48. "Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere." —Mae West
49. "I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done." —Steven Wright
50. "I think the key to being a good feminist is to not be too sincere." —Tina Fey

Bonus Laughs

51. "Yes, I’m a woman. Yes, I’m multitasking right now. No, you can’t handle it."
52. "Single, taken, or strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man? All of the above, depending on my mood."
53. "If women were meant to be tamed, they wouldn’t be called wild."

Which one’s your favorite? Or do you have a funny Women’s Day quote of your own?